“4th June…7 minutes of excessive panic..
Tender is the night. I am a night thinker. I shift my pillow closer to the full moon with so many unsaid words on the tip of my tongue. He breathed slowly as the night matured. I was lying beside of him the whole time. His eyes faded like a dying flower withering away.
He😘 looked otherworldly and vaguely threatening. I am sure he had stardust running through those vains. Oddly enough I couldn’t sleep that night.
I smiled at the stars, they knew all my secrets.
I was just here waiting and hoping for every long dream of him to come true. Anywhere with him is everywhere I wanted to be…
But everyday I went to bed feeling like I have been stabbed in the heart 4 times.
I wanted to spend the rest of my sunsets with him. My heart❤️ was so full of him. I fell for him like raindrops. I wondered what I looked like in his eyes. He had beautiful eyes.The kind you get lost in.
Loving him was like stars exploding in my veins. I loved him😘 with every breath I took.
He would never be unloved by me as he was too well tangled in my soul. Because whenever he touched me, it felt as if the stars were dancing across my skin.
He once told me, meet me in the middle of your story when your soul is wornout. That was three summers back . We hadn’t made love for a long long time. His love for me was no more. And loving him was the most exquisite form of self destruction.
I had found his licentious love letters a long time ago. A secret lover plunging to our marriage was very disheartening & crushing. The wedding ring on my finger was now just another piece of accessory beautyfieing my body. Gradually his betrayal overcasted my love for him. I supressed the storm inside of me like you hold your breath underwater.
Each passing day was heavy and suffocating. I spend a huge amount of time alone grieving about his disloyalty. As sorrowful & distressed I was i pretended about being ignorant all this while.
The night was passing slow and so was his breathing. He wasnt able to breathe. I was sleeping aside. His eyes were opened looking at me with uncertainty because I was calm while he gasped for air. There was no struggle from me to lifeguard him. There was no panic in me. I looked at him calmly.
I held his hand gently & felt the dying pulse. I wanted to see him die slowly. Though it pained me immensely to see that. Politely I confessed that I have poisoned him. That was our last dinner together early that night and I had prepared his favourite cuisine. He seemed confused & agitated, but the poison was paralyzing his body & tongue. He tried to retaliate but was inundated by numbness.
There was a lot of anger & confusion in his eyes. He was turning blue and red at the same time as he sweat profusely. His pillow soaked in sweat. His struggled to move ferociously, calmed my inner retaliation.
Apparently I was learning to live without love, his love. It seemed unimaginable. His trembling body was slowly turning distant & unresponsive. The night took a halt. Everything came to a stand still. The moonlight in the room was dispassionate & the air seemed unruffled. He breathed heavily enough to be heard aloud and he stretched his hands towards me. I stood composed clutching his letters tightly in my palms.
And before he breathed his last, I showed him those letters. His evidence of infidelity. He seemed stunned. The light in his eyes dimmed & his struggle to remain alive was unvailing. I recalled my 8 years of marriage & the countless dreams I had dreamt of, and how every dream shattered like grains of sand.
His still warm hands slipped away brushing my finger tips. I was as silent as the night.
My reprived vengeance now withered away with his last breath and his letters pelted away down to my feet.
By Madhura ❤️
Pic Courtesy : pinterest
Madhura Jha 