Love can create an illusion that anything is possible. It projects a sky high level of optimisim and everything seems yesterday.
One day his letters stopped coming.
And I waited for them like you wait for a lunar eclipse. I read his letters every night.
His last impassioned letter lay on my pillow while I watched it like an old flame withering away slowly.It wrote, please forgive this last letter. I’ll be waiting.
There was nothing else written.
And with length of time, Love❤️ was the word I decided to drop off from my vocabulary. Days stretched into weeks and I learned to go to bed with an aching heart.
I was trying to make order out of chaos, sense out of that last letter and I sincerely needed to think functional. I was a recovering lover, pledging for sorority and hoping to resurrect my faltering love.
Your mind is a shrine and not a warehouse of inappropriate emotions.
But love they say can fix everything from a broken heart to the crack of dawn.
I thought I was extremely well researched about the topic love 😘. But I was getting emotionally depleted day by day.
Life went on like that. Time had become fragmented, unmanageable and departed in chaotic clumps of hours.
Now waiting had become endless & pain was inherent to my soul.
Then one winter on a crisp morning when the rigid temperatures were dropping like an ice candy. My feet invariably walked towards the mailbox. My disappointed eyes searched for the long awaited letter if any, but it was nowhere to be.
I returned back towards the porch and sat on the wooden swing. My mind was too tired again. The chilled wind swayed the swing back & forth like my restless thoughts.
There was something tucked at the door knob I could see, but my unwillingness was obvious. But abruptly I just rushed like a storm to grasp it.
The letter. There it was, curled up in a brown envelope just like the old ones. The mailman must have been kind enough to keep It there considering the cold weather. The envelope smelled the same. It seemed his scent touched my skin with a sense of familiarity. I hurriedly picked it up and sat back on the swing as my heart pounded up & down and I felt it could explode anytime as my ribs rattled.
The next few moments were panicky. Flashback of all the time we spent together, the first date, the first kiss💋, the white linen on which we made love for the first time, my most liked light pink long sultry curtains in his bedroom, his perfume, a certain kind of fragrance when around him, the feel of his fingertips all over me, the departed tears flowing through my face knowing we would never meet again the last time we met, flashed quickly like a movie preview.
The wind outside now was slowing down but not the wind inside of me. It raced the fastest ever.
I opened the envelope hurriedly as I could, and unfolded the crisp neat white paper imprinted with rose petals.
But as my eyes searched for waves of words to flow. I was again thwarted with only a single line. But now, I didn’t rush to read it. I wasn’t desperate. I was wanting, i was hoping but I was not willing for another long stretch of vivid brokeness. I slowed down.
I silent myself with a lot of urge and calmed my racing mind.
Disgruntled & disheartened I closed my enervated eyes. A touch of 🍁 maple leaf on my shoulder, flown by the breeze interrupted my rustling thoughts with a confession of hope, of the coming spring & parting winter.
The letter was clutched tight in my hand and part of me wanted to read it the fastest.
The words looked blurry with my teary eyes as they trippled down towards my heart.
It felt like my soul was about to leave my body, when my eyes tried reading that one only line I wanted to read so intensely ever. As desperate as I was in my mind, I somewhere ruminated he wasn’t coming back.
With my trembling faith & dying wish my eyes looked at those whelming lines.
The words politely recited “I am coming. Meet at falling leaves”.
And before I could fathome those lovey trails of tender words, the cold breeze flew the letter out of my hand on towards the big maple🍁tree in my yard and I could see it swirling up high round and around. But I didn’t feel the need to chase it now. There was nothing that was going to slid away. The thunderstorm inside me was calmed but the windy breeze outside danced like a little girl in 😘 love.
My tired soul lied back on the swing. The wait wasn’t over yet. The 🍁maple tree was as impatient as me for our rendezvous.
By Madhura ❤️
Pic Courtesy : pinterest
Madhura Jha 